Thursday, November 27, 2003
A word to the wise...
It is not a good idea to go ahead and henna your hair even after realising that you didn't restock your latex gloves. I am now suffering from a severe case of smoker's nails.
It is not a good idea to go ahead and henna your hair even after realising that you didn't restock your latex gloves. I am now suffering from a severe case of smoker's nails.
Thursday, November 20, 2003
This bloke was on my train last week. Couldn't work out where I knew him from, but then caught the name in some credits after happening across him being snogged by Marc Warren in a wig on TV last night. And no, I still don't know where I know him from.
Wednesday, November 12, 2003
The nominations for the British Comedy Awards are out:
For Best International Comedy Show:
Friends
Malcolm In The Middle
Will And Grace
Now, as far as I'm concerned, the British Comedy Awards usually get it right on this category. And it's always fun to see the filmed acceptance 'speech' from the recipients. Remember David Duchovny helping out with the Larry Sanders one? (The one exception being the cringeworthy year when Friends won and Helen Baxendale had to do the honours, presenting to a stiff line-up of the show's stars).
Malcolm In The Middle, I can accept. I've never really got into it, but enough people that I respect do like it. But sodding Will & Grace? "Look, there's a really clever and oh-so-shocking-gay-themed-line-on-network-television coming up, please wait and laugh your socks off" Will & Grace? At least the Friends cast waited a couple of years to fall into that kind of shtick. Never has a show made me want more to slap the silly out of its lead actress. Which reminds me, thank God Sex and the City has never won. See? The British Comedy Awards usually have taste.
Friends has brought itself back from the abyss, but it ceased to be appointment telly a long time ago. Roughly the time ago when the first couple of series started to be repeated all of the time and you remembered why it was so entertaining when it started. Now? Not so much.
I assumed this year that it was going to be a toss-up between last year's winner, Six Feet Under, and Scrubs. The British Comedy Awards seem to thrive on giving the award to American shows that had been unrecognised in their awards shows at home, therefore Scrubs should be a shoo-in. It is fairly generally well-loved, with its sentimentality being the only strike against it.
(And can someone tell me why I could only find the full nominations list on The Sun's website? After trying Ananova, Yahoo, The Guardian, Chortle, and the BBC.)
For Best International Comedy Show:
Friends
Malcolm In The Middle
Will And Grace
Now, as far as I'm concerned, the British Comedy Awards usually get it right on this category. And it's always fun to see the filmed acceptance 'speech' from the recipients. Remember David Duchovny helping out with the Larry Sanders one? (The one exception being the cringeworthy year when Friends won and Helen Baxendale had to do the honours, presenting to a stiff line-up of the show's stars).
Malcolm In The Middle, I can accept. I've never really got into it, but enough people that I respect do like it. But sodding Will & Grace? "Look, there's a really clever and oh-so-shocking-gay-themed-line-on-network-television coming up, please wait and laugh your socks off" Will & Grace? At least the Friends cast waited a couple of years to fall into that kind of shtick. Never has a show made me want more to slap the silly out of its lead actress. Which reminds me, thank God Sex and the City has never won. See? The British Comedy Awards usually have taste.
Friends has brought itself back from the abyss, but it ceased to be appointment telly a long time ago. Roughly the time ago when the first couple of series started to be repeated all of the time and you remembered why it was so entertaining when it started. Now? Not so much.
I assumed this year that it was going to be a toss-up between last year's winner, Six Feet Under, and Scrubs. The British Comedy Awards seem to thrive on giving the award to American shows that had been unrecognised in their awards shows at home, therefore Scrubs should be a shoo-in. It is fairly generally well-loved, with its sentimentality being the only strike against it.
(And can someone tell me why I could only find the full nominations list on The Sun's website? After trying Ananova, Yahoo, The Guardian, Chortle, and the BBC.)
Friday, November 07, 2003
"Bongs for Baghdad"? What does that headline make you think of? Not just me, eh? Well done, The Guardian.
Thursday, November 06, 2003
Celebrity spotting rules
You gotta have a system, people!
1. Spots occurring in direct pursuit of your employment are not allowed (exact rule still under discussion):
If you’re a waiter at the Beckhams’ garden party, the spots don’t count. Though you can count yourself if you wander into back of shot of Des Lynam’s interview (well done, Jon).
2. Eyeballing is essential:
Which means that I can’t have George W Bush as a spot because I didn’t actually see him, even though I know that he was in a car driving past me. Le sigh.
3. Obscurity wins extra points
Do you have to spend five minutes explaining who the celebrity was to your family members? If it involves a conversation along the lines of “He was in that thing, with so-an-so....oh, you might have seen him in that advert with the monster thing...” then double points are yours. (You might have guessed that I made up this rule because I only ever see not terribly famous people)
The Holy Grails (for when the joy of celebrity spotting has exited your lives):
4. Celebrity Snap:
Both you and another person seeing a celebrity on separate occasions.
I and another friend’s spottings of Rob Brydon have almost run into double figures. We have had to exclude all of the sub-celebrity habitués of Wimbledon because it became too easy to spot them.
5. Accidental Celebrity Stalking
For when through no fault of your own, you see the same celebrity more than once and they start to look at you like you’re a mad stalker. Your attempt at a “no, not me, guv, it’s you that’s following ME around” expression only seems to reassure their opinion.
Extra points for multiple transatlantic spottings. Yes, I have seen Danny (Shrek) from Hearsay in two different continents. In both London and New York. That was very depressing.
6. Celebrity Pairs:
i.e. spotting Adam and Joe on separate occasions. Or for me, spotting all three members of Friday/Saturday Night Armistice separately. Though rule one might preclude one of them. Curses.
You gotta have a system, people!
1. Spots occurring in direct pursuit of your employment are not allowed (exact rule still under discussion):
If you’re a waiter at the Beckhams’ garden party, the spots don’t count. Though you can count yourself if you wander into back of shot of Des Lynam’s interview (well done, Jon).
2. Eyeballing is essential:
Which means that I can’t have George W Bush as a spot because I didn’t actually see him, even though I know that he was in a car driving past me. Le sigh.
3. Obscurity wins extra points
Do you have to spend five minutes explaining who the celebrity was to your family members? If it involves a conversation along the lines of “He was in that thing, with so-an-so....oh, you might have seen him in that advert with the monster thing...” then double points are yours. (You might have guessed that I made up this rule because I only ever see not terribly famous people)
The Holy Grails (for when the joy of celebrity spotting has exited your lives):
4. Celebrity Snap:
Both you and another person seeing a celebrity on separate occasions.
I and another friend’s spottings of Rob Brydon have almost run into double figures. We have had to exclude all of the sub-celebrity habitués of Wimbledon because it became too easy to spot them.
5. Accidental Celebrity Stalking
For when through no fault of your own, you see the same celebrity more than once and they start to look at you like you’re a mad stalker. Your attempt at a “no, not me, guv, it’s you that’s following ME around” expression only seems to reassure their opinion.
Extra points for multiple transatlantic spottings. Yes, I have seen Danny (Shrek) from Hearsay in two different continents. In both London and New York. That was very depressing.
6. Celebrity Pairs:
i.e. spotting Adam and Joe on separate occasions. Or for me, spotting all three members of Friday/Saturday Night Armistice separately. Though rule one might preclude one of them. Curses.
152 drivers caught speeding in 3 hours on two roads in Reading. (time-sensitive link)
Considering that most of Reading's one-way system is a blinkin' carpark for most of the day, it is hardly surprising that the drivers are so delighted that they are actually moving, and so tend to get carried away with the speed. God knows that I find myself flinging my arms in the air with joy when I can actually get along King's Road at over 5mph. Which is possibly why my mum tends to hold onto the door handle for dear life when riding with me. The police cars were out on Christmas Day last year to catch all of the ten people driving down a 3-lane road coming back from a church service. How hideously pointless is that?
As my friends who have been passengers of mine while driving down London Road will attest, Reading's one-way system will turn a happy-go-lucky pleasant Fiesta-driver into a snarling white-van-driver, complete with choice insults and shouting. You have to put your sodding foot down when you can, otherwise you get NOWHERE, dammit! Reading's councillors have made sure that you have to do the London driver thing in order to survive the system.
Considering that most of Reading's one-way system is a blinkin' carpark for most of the day, it is hardly surprising that the drivers are so delighted that they are actually moving, and so tend to get carried away with the speed. God knows that I find myself flinging my arms in the air with joy when I can actually get along King's Road at over 5mph. Which is possibly why my mum tends to hold onto the door handle for dear life when riding with me. The police cars were out on Christmas Day last year to catch all of the ten people driving down a 3-lane road coming back from a church service. How hideously pointless is that?
As my friends who have been passengers of mine while driving down London Road will attest, Reading's one-way system will turn a happy-go-lucky pleasant Fiesta-driver into a snarling white-van-driver, complete with choice insults and shouting. You have to put your sodding foot down when you can, otherwise you get NOWHERE, dammit! Reading's councillors have made sure that you have to do the London driver thing in order to survive the system.
The Ten Commandments of Theatre Workers
- Thou shalt smoke. Preferably right next to a ‘no smoking’ sign. And next to all the hemp ropes and wooden floors.
- Thou shalt sing.
- Thou shalt be able to shout “HEADS UP” in the style of the Big Issue seller outside of the Reading John Lewis.
- Thou shalt build sets in the manner of Changing Rooms. ie. they don’t last and have great capacity to injure people.
- Thou shalt find many ways of maiming or killing yourself. Usually by dropping yourself or sundry objects from great heights. Also by moving huge wobbly set pieces around.
- Thou shalt use random words for equipment. Thereby confusing anyone who is not in the ‘biz’. And all of us who have very short memories.
- Thou shalt provide many ways of cocking up in a public way. An example: trusting first year students to organise gel colours, plugging up of lights, and operating of lights from a complex computerised lighting board.
- Thou shalt leave everything to the last minute. Any schedules which are drawn up are meaningless.
- Thou shalt speak of the old days when there was money in theatre and when no one cared about safety.
- Thou shalt outright lie and use any persuasive powers you possess in order to get anything vaguely cheaper than retail price, or even free!
- Thou shalt smoke. Preferably right next to a ‘no smoking’ sign. And next to all the hemp ropes and wooden floors.
- Thou shalt sing.
- Thou shalt be able to shout “HEADS UP” in the style of the Big Issue seller outside of the Reading John Lewis.
- Thou shalt build sets in the manner of Changing Rooms. ie. they don’t last and have great capacity to injure people.
- Thou shalt find many ways of maiming or killing yourself. Usually by dropping yourself or sundry objects from great heights. Also by moving huge wobbly set pieces around.
- Thou shalt use random words for equipment. Thereby confusing anyone who is not in the ‘biz’. And all of us who have very short memories.
- Thou shalt provide many ways of cocking up in a public way. An example: trusting first year students to organise gel colours, plugging up of lights, and operating of lights from a complex computerised lighting board.
- Thou shalt leave everything to the last minute. Any schedules which are drawn up are meaningless.
- Thou shalt speak of the old days when there was money in theatre and when no one cared about safety.
- Thou shalt outright lie and use any persuasive powers you possess in order to get anything vaguely cheaper than retail price, or even free!
Helloo Reading Evening Post and Reading 107,
Susanne from Pop Idol? Is not from Reading. And is a bit of a mentalist.
Susanne from Pop Idol? Is not from Reading. And is a bit of a mentalist.
Wednesday, November 05, 2003
What did we learn today, chickabiddies?
• Those charity people with clipboards need to be maimed. Soon. Quite possibly by me by swing a half-naked mannequin at them. Me shaking my head in a vociferous manner is not an invitation in indulge in 'witty banter' with me. Cos I'm pissed off, tired, and earning far less than you. So sod off.
• 10 metre stretch of Carnaby St with said half-naked mannequin = only one sarky comment from builders. Which I consider to be a result.
• Apparently I look like a married person to the lovely staff of the electrical store on Berners St. Which is a little depressing.
• There are some Art Deco swimming baths only a stone's throw from where I work. Like a very feeble girl's stone's throw from where I work. Someone I know is planning to do a show there, and I didn't even know that they existed. That is what is sad, and great, about London. There's so much there, but so much you don't even know about or don't have access to.
• Building work gets done a whole lot quicker when there's a first night of a show in the offing. In the real world, they take their own sweet time.
• Having the same surname as someone and proof of address doesn't qualify you to pick up something from the post office. Despite grinning hopefully, and I think rather sweetly, at the postman.
• Why is the Bakerloo line hotter than every other line? Anyone?
• Those charity people with clipboards need to be maimed. Soon. Quite possibly by me by swing a half-naked mannequin at them. Me shaking my head in a vociferous manner is not an invitation in indulge in 'witty banter' with me. Cos I'm pissed off, tired, and earning far less than you. So sod off.
• 10 metre stretch of Carnaby St with said half-naked mannequin = only one sarky comment from builders. Which I consider to be a result.
• Apparently I look like a married person to the lovely staff of the electrical store on Berners St. Which is a little depressing.
• There are some Art Deco swimming baths only a stone's throw from where I work. Like a very feeble girl's stone's throw from where I work. Someone I know is planning to do a show there, and I didn't even know that they existed. That is what is sad, and great, about London. There's so much there, but so much you don't even know about or don't have access to.
• Building work gets done a whole lot quicker when there's a first night of a show in the offing. In the real world, they take their own sweet time.
• Having the same surname as someone and proof of address doesn't qualify you to pick up something from the post office. Despite grinning hopefully, and I think rather sweetly, at the postman.
• Why is the Bakerloo line hotter than every other line? Anyone?
